Making a mentoring relationship work

A mentoring relationship needs agreed goals, commitment, honest communication and attention from both people. Its meetings and methods should support the mentee's development while allowing the relationship to evolve.

Goals, agreements and accountability

Mentor and mentee should discuss expectations at the start to avoid frustration later. ^{1, 2} Listing SMART goals—specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time-bound—and the obstacles to reaching them can give the relationship direction. ¹ A simple mentoring agreement can record what the pair intends to accomplish, with a plan revised in response to the mentor's feedback. ² Session logs and development plans help keep goals visible and support regular progress checks. ³

The mentee should take responsibility for moving the relationship forward: scheduling meetings, setting their frequency, raising discussion topics, agreeing goal timelines and managing both parties' expectations. ^{4, 2} The mentee should build professional trust and credibility. ² A follow-up schedule, meeting agendas and progress reviews create accountability. ² The mentee should remain open-minded and willing both to challenge and be challenged. ⁴ One experienced mentee preferred working on the mentor's terms, which sometimes meant the mentor asked her to lead. ⁵

A formal company programme in 2020 recommended meetings every three to six weeks over eight to twelve meetings. ⁶ Its workbook supported expectations, ground rules, goals, meeting preparation, action records and progress evaluation. ⁶ Tools included SCORE (symptoms, causes, outcomes, resources and effects), SWOT (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats) and SMART goals. ⁶

The mentee's contribution

Five suggested competencies describe an effective mentee. ⁴

1. Intelligence: identify and solve problems.
2. Ambition and enthusiasm: strive for progression and actively seek challenges.
3. Interpersonal skills: build networks.
4. Openness to feedback: listen actively and receive feedback.
5. Respect: consider the mentor's competing responsibilities when scheduling meetings or requesting help.

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As the relationship develops, the mentee should reflect on the process, resolve pain points, take responsibility for development, welcome change and appreciate the mentor's commitment. ⁴

Honesty about strengths, weaknesses, interests and career uncertainty helps the mentor give relevant guidance. ⁷ For a prospective writer, that includes why medical writing appeals, possible career aims five or ten years ahead, and whether other careers remain under consideration; sometimes useful advice is that the field may not fit. ⁷ Mentees should feel able to ask questions without embarrassment, even when they think they should already know the answer. ⁸

Mentors cannot guarantee a particular job, answer every question, settle every career dilemma or replace the work of developing writing skills. ⁹ When unable to help, they may recommend someone else; mentees should thank them for the advice and recognise volunteer mentors' contribution. ⁹

Trust, reciprocity and personal connection

Effective mentoring should be productive, enjoyable and sustainable. ¹⁰ Trust and open communication should be maintained as the relationship develops. ¹¹ Five characteristics describe the relationship. ¹²

1. Reciprocity: both mentor and mentee find it rewarding.
2. Mutual respect: each respects the other's time, effort and qualifications.
3. Clear expectations: expectations are revisited, with both accountable to them.
4. Personal connection: the pair connects personally and shares an approach to work and problem solving.
5. Shared values: approaches to work and personal life are compatible.

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Getting to know the person beyond a title can help overcome hierarchy and build rapport. ^{13, 14} A mentee can offer perspectives from a different generation or workforce while the mentor offers career experience; maintaining the bond may take particular effort when their lives and networks do not overlap. ^{15, 16} A formal partnership needs sufficient structure, suitable tools and mutual commitment. ¹⁷ In one pair's experience, an open mindset and readiness to engage sincerely made discussion reciprocal rather than a one-way transfer of advice. ¹⁸

Approaches differ in how closely mentoring resembles friendship. ^{8, 19} One approach keeps meetings between the formality of a manager–report discussion and a chat between friends: the mentor remains approachable while offering sound guidance. ⁸ Coach Susan Morris's maximal-mentoring model emphasises equal standing, two-way learning and attention to personal as well as career goals. ¹⁹ The model aims to exceed both parties' expectations and change them personally and professionally. ¹⁹ It contrasts with her minimal-mentoring model, where an expert uses a generic approach, learning runs one way, the mentee is dependent, and a career-focused exchange may trade help finding a job for access to a network. ¹⁹

Maximal mentoring has four proposed ingredients. ¹⁹

1. Relationship: friendship precedes the professional relationship.
2. Connection: care for each other's success, respond to communication and create safety, with firm commitment and agreements or logistics often recorded in writing.
3. Acceptance: avoid judgement and hidden agendas, allowing authenticity and private risk-taking.
4. Preferred traits: trust, mutual respect, interdependence, authenticity, vulnerability and patience.

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The model's practical summary is to: ¹⁹

1. Build on candour and trust.
2. Explore professional goals and personal dreams.
3. Give and receive critical feedback, sharing successes and mistakes.

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Questions, mentor roles and constructive criticism

Mentors can adopt different roles, including coach, adviser, critic and storyteller. ^{6, 20} Questions can clarify a problem, explore other perspectives and challenge assumptions, alongside advice and personal stories. ^{21, 18}

Five strategies can help a mentor guide the relationship. ¹⁰

1. Ask questions that help the mentee discover questions and solutions.
2. Help identify suitable goals, including SMART goals.
3. Encourage accountability and gently explore the mentee's own part in solving a problem.
4. Rehearse crucial conversations through role-play.
5. Celebrate successes, large and small.

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Three discussion models provide additional structure. ¹⁰

Model	Discussion
CMO	Identify competency, motivation and opportunity; when all three align, work on a feasible strategy for the desired goal or skill.
SBI	Describe the situation, the mentee's behaviour and its impact.
SSC	Examine the situation and decide what to stop, start and continue.

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A critic can offer constructive feedback that others hesitate to give. ¹⁷ Where the mentor has no stake in the mentee's performance, a neutral perspective can represent others involved and help explore how a difficult situation might have been handled differently. ¹⁷ Such feedback challenges both people, particularly if the mentee finds it misplaced or poorly delivered; agreed ground rules and expectations about learning methods help address this. ^{22, 23}

Change and a considered ending

Mentoring changes as careers progress, and a mentor and mentee may become colleagues or move between mentoring roles over time. ^{24, 25} They should set long-term development goals together and check that support remains adequate; the mentor can also offer perspective on work–life balance during personal transitions. ²⁴

At the end of a formal programme, the pair can evaluate its learning and relationship, then either conclude it or redefine it to continue or pursue different learning opportunities. ⁶ Appreciation and contact can continue after the agreement ends, and former mentees may become friends and esteemed colleagues. ^{2, 26}